Sweet – 16 Pussy’s!
Oct 31st, 2009 by Fat Bastard

I don’t post here as often as I should anymore… The main reason being I’ve got a new circle of friends!

Why Viagra was invented

Why Viagra was invented

Take it in your hand.
Hold it upright.
Make sure you pull back smoothly down the full lengh of the shaft, then…
WHOOOOOSH!!!

Proof that perverts are more dangerous than you had ever imagined.

His Dad must be so proud

One to proudly show the Grandkids

The old ‘I’ve got a headache’  bullshit won’t wash with me.
So now my girlfriend will try anything to keep me out of her shaven haven. I do love a challenge though, I could undo that with my hands behind my back 🙂

Extreme contraception

Extreme contraception

Internet Dating with Tara Palmer Tompkinson
Oct 26th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

I’ve been chatting up this gorgeous blonde girl on the internet.
We swapped a few pics, tits out ‘n stuff  and she said she wanted to meet up with me.  I sent her my address and next day she arranged to come to my house.

I spent an hour scrubbing my dick clean, but anyway when it came down to it she must’ve got cold feet and bottled out of coming round to my place – She texted me to meet at a pub in town instead. I sat there for hours waiting, but she never showed.

Then, to cap it all, when I got home, I’d been fuckin’ burgled.

Choose Life

Choose Life

Tara Palmer-Tompkinson. Love her or hate her, but I bet you can’t say her name when you’re pissed!
It’s easy to say coke head slut though, so that’ll do.

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Pawning her underwear to buy Coke since 1990

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Pawning her underwear to buy Coke since 1990

And Tara as a baby…

Her baby sitter was Amy Winehouse

Her baby sitter was Amy Winehouse

Emma Watson Naked – Fuck Global Warming!
Oct 20th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

Some clever cunt Scientists discovered that typing a single search query in Google uses the half the amount of energy as boiling a kettle. So searching for ‘energy saving tips’, connects to so many datacentres around the world that it produces 7g of the greenhouse gas, C02.

So, in theory then, if I cut down on my searches for ‘Emma Watson naked’, then maybe the earth’s coal and oil resources won’t run out in 50 years after all.

On second thoughts, I’ll be to old to care then. Emma, come to daddy….

Emma Watson Naked

Emma Watson Increases Global Warming

Lady GaGa had her tits out in public again the other day, which is always nice.
Shame about the face though.

Going GaGa - Nice tits, Shame about the face.

Going GaGa - Nice tits, Shame about the face.

Stoopid question of the day… Is BNP leader Nick Griffin racist?
Stoopid answer of the day… No.

nick-griffin-BNP

Nick Griffin looking for Kyle. See Kyle anyone?

Happy Slapping
Oct 16th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

A quick message to the nutcase who planted a right hook on Leona Lewis during her book signing this week…

Please put the following events in your diary:

Katie Price book signing – 24th October, Waterstones, Reading

John and Edward publicity ‘meet and greet’ – 3rd November Virgin Record Store, London

Prince Charles Military Inspection – 15th November Sandhurst Military Academy, Berkshire

Stephen Gately *CANCELLED*

Funny enough it could only be the British who’d queue up politely for 5 hours just to ‘happy slap’ a celeb!

Prince Charles gets to grips with the female recruits

Prince Charles gets to grips with the female recruits

A reminder too that I’m looking forward to you girls scanning your pussy and passing them on to Fat Bastard. The hairy’er the better thanks;)

Cat Scanner - Scan Your Pussy

Cat Scanner - Scan Your Pussy

That’ll be the Daewoo
Oct 13th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

The British are so fucking PC. If we’d have landed on the moon first we’d have put up a sign saying ‘caution uneven surface’. Everythings got to be just perfect. That’s what makes it soooo fuckin’ good when out of the blue you spot something that ain’t.

This guy photographs his motor for ebay while the silly tart next door flashes her tits for a laugh.

Who’s laughing now love? Matey got a shit load of hits to his listing, his Daewoo sold for £499 more than the £1 it was worth, and the whole world now knows you’re a scrubber. Wicked;)

That'll be the Daewoo!

Worth £500? That'll be the Daewoo!


eBays had a couple of gems this week in fact, or in this case not a gem as such, but ‘Funky Fashion Jewellery’. Of course I didn’t know what the beads were used for until I read about Stephen Gately’s demise!

Funky Fashion Fuck Beads... Wear them with Pride!

Funky Fashion Fuck Beads... Wear them with Pride!

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