I Fell Asleep On My Keyboard…. Eyjafjallajokull!!!
Apr 15th, 2010 by Fat Bastard

Prime Minister Gordon Brown decides to ban the legal high Mephedrone  in the run up to the general election. (That’s Meow Meow to you and me:) What a Dick. Surely he’d have more chance of people voting for him if they were ON DRUGS! Prick.

An Arse (and a naked lady too)
An Arse (and a naked lady too)

Meanwhile the icelandic volcano’s still blowing Ash…. That’s more than Cheryl Cole is!
And the airlines are still grounded. Still, at least this cuts down the immigration and stops the Chris Moyles show for a while.
Iceland shafted us last year too when their banks went tits up with all our dosh – We asked for cash and all we got was fucking ash!

Iceland

Iceland

Apparently the pope cried when he met some of the pedo priests sex abuse victims – Well they do say that tears are a paedophiles lubricant of choice.

Pope on a Rope

Pope on a Rope

I admit I’m a junk food addict, but calling McDonalds a restaurant is like calling Scooby Doo a detective series. Everyone knows it’s really a fantasy porn show.

Scooby Does

Scooby Dooby Doo!

Scooby Don't

Scooby Don't

KFC bring out a bunless chicken burger. Sounds good, they’ve moved on from the early days of ‘chicken in a basket’.
But hey, WTF’s wrong with a bird in a basket?

Basket Case

Basket Case

Homer is a Cunt
Apr 2nd, 2010 by Fat Bastard

Now and again I get problems with my ears – infections, wax and stuff. so, I go down the Doctors…
“Can you describe the symptoms?” says the doc.
“Yeh, no problem… Homer is a lazy yellow fat bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!”

Homer is a cunt

Homer is a cunt

So, I’m trying to look after my health. I cut down the drinking a bit, but you know it was a good night out when you fart the next day and have to wipe your arse. Probably the crap I eat too though – Believe it or not there’s a sign in McDonalds that says ‘Sorry we don’t accept £50 notes’ –
Jesus, if I had a £50 note I’m fucked if I’d be spending it on that shite!

fat kits eating mcdonalds

Going to mcdonalds for a salad? That's like going to a brothel for a hug.

Nothing quite says, ‘I’m an ugly bastard with no personality’ quite like having a Thai wife.
Although she did just say I have a big cock. Whoops, I forgot the punctuation, should read as…. She did just say, “I have a big cock”.

Fat Thai Bride Nude

They couldn't understand how to 'Give Head' correctly

My Dad once said, “Son, always try to make sure you have a bird on the end of your cock at every possibility”
Good advice, and I quite like coloured birds actually.

One cock or two? - It's a Cockatoo

One cock or two? - It's a Cockatoo

Apple will be releasing a new gadget exclusively for women later this year…It’s called the iRon
I’m not sexist, but Women should know their place and, always do their clothes shopping at male recommended shopping areas. The t-shirt shop below, for example.

One size fits all

T-Shirt - Looks like it might be a tight fit!

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