Public transport’s shit…
Feb 3rd, 2011 by Fat Bastard

I was sat on the tube this morning sweating like James Corden in a cake shop, when this georgeous looking Thai bird sat down opposite.

Getting an eye-full upskirt I’m thinking, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection” …But she fuckin’ did!

Teacher Erection

He entered an erection contest and easily made it past the semis

Got off the tube and there’s this homeless guy sat on the floor with a three legged dog.
He’s holding a sign saying “Please help, I’m Starving” and I’m just thinking, nah, he can’t be that fuckin’ hungry, he’s not even finished his dog yet!

Up the road there’s another unwashed selling ‘The Big Issue’. Don’t they realise if it had tits in it the homeless crisis would be sorted by now?

Invisible and Homeless

Good news for the homeless - 85% Of accidents happen in the House

Some little old lady asked me how she could to get to the hospital – So I pushed her under the bus.
As I got on I spotted an old mate sat on his own so I went over. After the usual ‘what you been up-to’ and other inevitable bullshit chit-chat, there’s an awkward silence, so, I think of a joke.

‘What d’ya do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? – Throw in your washing’.

As we laughed the guy sat behind us, built like a brick shit-house, leaned over and said ‘NOT funny! My son had a fit in the bath and died’
We both shit ourselves as he stood up to get off the bus, then he added, ‘He choked on a sock’
Fat Bastard.

FAT Bus-Tard

Fat Bus-tard

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