I’ve been chatting up this gorgeous blonde girl on the internet.
We swapped a few pics, tits out ‘n stuff  and she said she wanted to meet up with me.  I sent her my address and next day she arranged to come to my house.

I spent an hour scrubbing my dick clean, but anyway when it came down to it she must’ve got cold feet and bottled out of coming round to my place – She texted me to meet at a pub in town instead. I sat there for hours waiting, but she never showed.

Then, to cap it all, when I got home, I’d been fuckin’ burgled.

Choose Life

Tara Palmer-Tompkinson. Love her or hate her, but I bet you can’t say her name when you’re pissed!
It’s easy to say coke head slut though, so that’ll do.

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Pawning her underwear to buy Coke since 1990

And Tara as a baby…

Her baby sitter was Amy Winehouse