Boners and pussy’s
Nov 22nd, 2009 by Fat Bastard

It never ceases to amaze me that people stay in on a Saturday night just to watch the X Factor on TV.
OK, Cheryl Cole’s as fuckable as they come, but Jedward – John and Fuckin Edward, WTF? I’d rather let Susan Boyle shit in my mouth than watch that pair of talentless twin twats.

Luckily tho’ it didn’t take long for last years winner, Alexandra Burke to realise you can bump up your famous-ness by flashing a bit of gash whenever you get chance – Just wish she’d tell Leona Lewis that.

Burke Alexandra - Flashing the gash for cash

Burke Alexandra - Flashing the gash for cash

John and Edward, the early years.

Jedward - Still as immature as the day they were concieved

Jedward - Still as immature as the day they were concieved

If you were a fat, greasy mop haired speccy bastard with no dress sense, would you pose in the mirror for a selfpic and post it on the internet? No, of course not.
You’d make sure you had a stonker of a boner pushing through your boxers first. Obviously.

Sexxxxxxxxxxy

Sexxxxxxxxxxy

For animal lovers, a cute pussy…

A cat riding an invisible bike

A cat riding an invisible bike

For people who like to have sex with animals…

A horse dressed in a frog outfit

A horse dressed in a frog outfit

Happy Slapping
Oct 16th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

A quick message to the nutcase who planted a right hook on Leona Lewis during her book signing this week…

Please put the following events in your diary:

Katie Price book signing – 24th October, Waterstones, Reading

John and Edward publicity ‘meet and greet’ – 3rd November Virgin Record Store, London

Prince Charles Military Inspection – 15th November Sandhurst Military Academy, Berkshire

Stephen Gately *CANCELLED*

Funny enough it could only be the British who’d queue up politely for 5 hours just to ‘happy slap’ a celeb!

Prince Charles gets to grips with the female recruits

Prince Charles gets to grips with the female recruits

A reminder too that I’m looking forward to you girls scanning your pussy and passing them on to Fat Bastard. The hairy’er the better thanks;)

Cat Scanner - Scan Your Pussy

Cat Scanner - Scan Your Pussy

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