Luckily tho’ it didn’t take long for last years winner, Alexandra Burke to realise you can bump up your famous-ness by flashing a bit of gash whenever you get chance – Just wish she’d tell Leona Lewis that.

Burke Alexandra - Flashing the gash for cash

John and Edward, the early years.

Jedward - Still as immature as the day they were concieved

If you were a fat, greasy mop haired speccy bastard with no dress sense, would you pose in the mirror for a selfpic and post it on the internet? No, of course not.
You’d make sure you had a stonker of a boner pushing through your boxers first. Obviously.

Sexxxxxxxxxxy

For animal lovers, a cute pussy…

A cat riding an invisible bike

For people who like to have sex with animals…

A horse dressed in a frog outfit

Please put the following events in your diary:

Katie Price book signing – 24th October, Waterstones, Reading

John and Edward publicity ‘meet and greet’ – 3rd November Virgin Record Store, London

Prince Charles Military Inspection – 15th November Sandhurst Military Academy, Berkshire

Stephen Gately *CANCELLED*

Funny enough it could only be the British who’d queue up politely for 5 hours just to ‘happy slap’ a celeb!

Prince Charles gets to grips with the female recruits

A reminder too that I’m looking forward to you girls scanning your pussy and passing them on to Fat Bastard. The hairy’er the better thanks;)

Cat Scanner - Scan Your Pussy