Im a Fat Bastard (tho’ I’m more of a Bastard than I am fat) – However, that’s a man thing and therefore not a problem.
Thing is, when a girl lets herself go and has ‘just one more’ lettuce and cucumber Ryvita, it’s a different matter. When greed sets in a woman can become morbidly obese in a matter of hours, with the onset of divorce rapidly following – Usually the next day by a sympathetic Judge.

Remember:
Fat Bastard = NO Problem
Fat Bitch = Big FAT Problem

Greedy Fat Bitch

However, if you find a bird who does gymnastic bendy stuff, she’s always a winner.  (If she swallows, then that’s an added bonus) Take her home to meet Grandma.

Yeh, I need a haircut, I know!

Can you look at this picture and not think about sex? Me neither.