Jeremy Irons

The Sun newspaper last week carried the story – ‘Girl has sex with dolphin’ Of course the girl claimed it was all a mis-understanding as she ‘must have smelt of fish from an encounter with her boyfriend over breakfast’ (?) But I think it’s obvious… She did it on porpose!

"We get on great... We just clicked"

There’s a Van Gogh painting in my local museum. A sign underneath it says ‘loaned anonymously’ So I went to the front desk and said, “I’d like my Van Gogh back now, please”
We finally got kicked out when my girlfriend sucked off a statue. She said it was worth it though, hardest cock she’d ever blown!

A monumental cock-up