Subo - The seX-Factor

I got a txt message yesterday, obviously meant for someone else, it said:
‘Hi, be home soon, love ya loads, Steve xxx’
Course, I had to have a bit of fun so I txt the guy back:
‘Don’t bother you ugly cunt, I don’t love You and I’ve been fucking your brother’
I couldn’t wait for the reply… Then it came:
‘You OK Mum?’

Txt Messages - Getting your priorities right

Your Mum’s so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought EastEnders was ending

Katie Price has gone too far this time

I tried my hand at a valentines day verse to try and charm the knickers off my gf….
‘Roses are red, but there’s also white, pink and yellow varieties too.
Violets aren’t actually blue, they’re fucking violet, hence the name!’
I’ve got OCD. And my poetry skills are also lacking so fuck it, it’s another wank tonight.

A cross I have to bear

Luckily tho’ it didn’t take long for last years winner, Alexandra Burke to realise you can bump up your famous-ness by flashing a bit of gash whenever you get chance – Just wish she’d tell Leona Lewis that.

Burke Alexandra - Flashing the gash for cash

John and Edward, the early years.

Jedward - Still as immature as the day they were concieved

If you were a fat, greasy mop haired speccy bastard with no dress sense, would you pose in the mirror for a selfpic and post it on the internet? No, of course not.
You’d make sure you had a stonker of a boner pushing through your boxers first. Obviously.

Sexxxxxxxxxxy

For animal lovers, a cute pussy…

A cat riding an invisible bike

For people who like to have sex with animals…

A horse dressed in a frog outfit