Kate slips her finger into Williams ring…
May 3rd, 2011 by Fat Bastard

We spent a whole day enduring the ‘most ridiculous fukin hat in the UK’ competition, only to discover what we already know. Give spoilt little rich girls a few £££’s from the taxpayer and they’ll go out of their way to look stupid.

WTF's that ugly piece of shit on her head?? Oh yea, ginger hair!

WTF's that ugly piece of shit on her head?? Oh yea, ginger hair!

Missing was Beatrice’s role model Mum, Sarah ‘Toe sucking Fergie’ Ferguson? Although both her kids were there, but she was banned in case she caused embarrassment. Luckily Tara Palmer Tomkinson (TPT) was there to represent all that is right and proper in the British society.
Shame though, coke snorting, ‘tits out for the lads’ Tara remained fully clothed on this occasion.

Tara Palmer Tomkinson Topless

Tara - Royal Blue!

Also in the news this week:

After more ten years and trillions of dollars spent. Thousands of soldiers dead and horrifically wounded. State of the art surveylance technology and elite military intelegence officers. The Americans have finally found Osama Bin Laden… In his house!

This incident has emphasised the point that despite speaking the same language, it’s amazing how there’s some subtle differences between American-English and proper (UK) English –

For example :

American’s say “sidewalk” while we say “pavement”

They say “pants” we say “trousers”

They say “buried at sea” but we say “stripped naked in a concrete cell, chained to a steel bed frame with a car battery wired to the bollocks whilst being beaten for answers”

And talking about unlucky bastards, Russell Brand.
He was happy as a dog with two dicks ’till he copped an eyeful of Katy without her slap on.

Katy Perry - So what, I still would

Katy Perry - So what, I still would.

Internet Dating with Tara Palmer Tompkinson
Oct 26th, 2009 by Fat Bastard

I’ve been chatting up this gorgeous blonde girl on the internet.
We swapped a few pics, tits out ‘n stuff  and she said she wanted to meet up with me.  I sent her my address and next day she arranged to come to my house.

I spent an hour scrubbing my dick clean, but anyway when it came down to it she must’ve got cold feet and bottled out of coming round to my place – She texted me to meet at a pub in town instead. I sat there for hours waiting, but she never showed.

Then, to cap it all, when I got home, I’d been fuckin’ burgled.

Choose Life

Choose Life

Tara Palmer-Tompkinson. Love her or hate her, but I bet you can’t say her name when you’re pissed!
It’s easy to say coke head slut though, so that’ll do.

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Pawning her underwear to buy Coke since 1990

Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Pawning her underwear to buy Coke since 1990

And Tara as a baby…

Her baby sitter was Amy Winehouse

Her baby sitter was Amy Winehouse

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